July 23, 2010 – Awake with exhaustion – 3:28AM

Ugh…The joy of voices re-awakening insomnia…whispers vibrate eardrums that are louder than sound itself. A quick jolt, a jump. a reaction. With the split second fear and deafening silence soon after. frustration then follows. Alert, darting eyes. Awake with exhaustion. Think. Escape bedroom area. NOW. Pacing floor, while mumbling, “not now, gddammit, don’t annoy me tonight, you’re not real, or are you…I’m not interested. gah. tired. need sleep. leave me alone. not again. been through it enough times, that by now I should take casual approach. Ok. Geez, if you’re gonna taunt me, can you at least bug me during morning hours please?” Pacing slows..return to bed. Stare at door, turn knob, peak inside. Analyze shadows, reflective light. movement. of any kind. glance at walls, ceiling, rumbling air conditioner..and then..the ominous bed -ground zero. voices re-awakening insomnia. pray for another hour of rest at best. good night.

3:50AM